How to survive and thrive as a stay-at-home Dad
Most parents find it challenging to keep up with household chores, especially when the kids are home all day. And it’s not just moms at home doing the work anymore. In the U.S., over 2.2 million dads are taking on full-time parenting role and that number keeps growing as more men embrace being a stay-at-home dad.
Now that you’re part of the growing community of stay-at-home dads, you might be trying to find the right balance to stay productive, happy, and positive — and that’s totally normal. Being a stay-at-home dad comes with its own challenges, but also tons of rewarding moments. To help you get started, we’ve put together top tips and tricks on how to be a stay at home dad who can juggle fatherhood and housework while still being the superhero your little ones look up to.
Tips for Stay at Home Dads
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Emotional Preparation for Stay at Home Dad Status
Dads deserve serious respect. Being a stay-at-home dad comes with the same challenges moms face when it comes to juggling cleaning, cooking, and caring for young children. One key difference is that many men grew up in households where their mothers handled most of the chores, meaning they may not have been taught those same day-to-day cleaning and organizing skills.
Shun stereotypes
While times are changing, housework is still often unfairly seen as “women’s work.” Unfortunately, a stigma still surrounds being a stay-at-home dad, especially when it comes to taking on household chores in addition to childcare But as we all know, this is one of the most challenging jobs around!
Give yourself a pat on the back
Being a stay-at-home dad is an important job, and you’re just as capable of doing it as spectacularly as anyone else, regardless of gender. Embrace your role as a positive role model for your children. It’s essential to find balance between caring for your little ones and also taking care of yourself.
Punt perfection
There’s no such thing as perfection—only the pursuit of it. Focus your energy on being the best dad you can be, not on how spotless the house is. Set a realistic baseline for cleanliness and order, then give yourself permission to let the rest go.
It’s the quality time that matters
When your kids look back on their childhood, they won’t remember whether the kitchen was spotless when they were toddlers. What they’ll remember are the moments that mattered, playing hide-and-seek in the backyard, finger painting at the table, watching or going to sporting events, and spontaneous trips to the park.
Common Stay at Home Dad Problems
The most important thing to remember is that, at some point, even the best fathers will struggle with their role as a stay-at-home dad—regardless of age, gender, or experience. That’s completely normal and part of the journey of being a stay at home dad.
Simply put, being a parent is not easy.
Many people have a serious misconception about what stay at home dads are doing while they’re home with the kids. Outsiders may think you have it easy, watching sports all day and riding on the coattails of your working wife. That’s simply not true, and you can’t let those stigmas and misconceptions get to you, because they will destroy you.
Activities to help deal with burnout and depression
If you’ve ever seen the cover of magazines like Cosmo or Vanity Fair, you’ve likely noticed society’s push for women to engage in self-care and prioritize their own well-being. Well, the same applies to you, Dad. Taking the time to care for yourself will help you be a better father and partner overall.
It’s easy to burn out when you’re juggling household responsibilities and full-time parenting. If you constantly put your own needs last, it can lead to a short fuse and a bad temper. We often take our stress out on those closest to us when we’re running on empty so prioritizing self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
To get you started on your self-care journey, here are some ideas to combat burnout and take care of yourself for a change:
- Maximize nap time. When your kids go down for their nap, try to catch some rest too. It’s not always easy, especially with infants and toddlers, but being a stay-at-home dad means staying flexible. If they’re not old enough to entertain themselves, you’ve got to adjust. And guess what, Pops? There’s no shame in needing a midday nap to recharge. Kids are draining, even for the most active and energized man. No shame there.
- Create age-appropriate chore charts and get the kids engaged. It will lighten your load and teach them responsibility.
- Share your interests with your kids. They look up to you and love to imitate what you do. Whether it’s sports, outdoor adventures, or simple DIY projects around the house, involving them in what you enjoy keeps them off screens and helps build meaningful memories together.
- Call the sitter and take your wife out on a date. Use this time to reconnect as partners, not just parents. It’s also a great opportunity to talk openly about any parenting challenges and work together on a game plan, reinforcing your support system at home.
- Create a snack and drink station the kids can access. Set clear guidelines from the start on when they can help themselves and how much they’re allowed. This simple setup can free you up to stay focused on your own tasks without constant snack-related interruptions.
Habits of Highly-Effective Stay-at-Home Dads
So, what’s a busy stay at home Dad to do about keeping the house clean while taking care of the little ones all day? Here are a few tips to help.
Keep the kids busy while you maximize downtime
Grab a few age-appropriate videos from your local library to keep the kids entertained while you tackle chores like scrubbing the kitchen. You can also create a special play area with toys that only come out on “bathroom cleaning” day. This keeps things fresh and fun for your little ones while giving you a chance to stay productive.
You can wear your baby in a front carrier or backpack while you sort, wash, and fold laundry to keep them close and calm. For older kids, give them simple tasks like gathering towels from the bathroom or sorting socks into a pile. It’s a great way to keep them involved and teach responsibility early on.
Schedule, don’t scramble
Create a workable schedule of household cleaning chores, spreading them out over the week instead of trying to do it all in one day. It might look like this:
Stay at Home Dad House Cleaning Schedule
- Monday: Clean the kitchen
- Tuesday: Clean the bathrooms
- Wednesday: Laundry, laundry, laundry
- Thursday: Dusting/vacuuming/miscellaneous chores
- Friday: Run errands and catch up on chores
- Saturday: Family time ONLY. No chores!
- Sunday: Special projects like clean out the garage or basement
Is keeping a rigid schedule always going to be possible? No. However, if you have a schedule, you can plan on how to get the cleaning and chores done with the kids at home.
Work as a team
If they are old enough, teach your kiddos how to fold the simpler things like washcloths, match and roll socks together, and hand you their clothes to be placed on hangers. You will be teaching them valuable life skills like how to do their own laundry someday. Kids love learning how they can pitch in and help out around the house.
Remember, it’s about engagement and responsibility, not perfection. So what if they don’t make a perfect square when folding hand towels? Those towels are most likely going to disappear into a closet anyway.
Power parenting
Do you know any other stay-at-home Dads? Or moms, for that matter? Why not propose a day of the week to help each other get the housekeeping done by banding together and scheduling cleaning playdates?
Have a couple of other stay at home parents over so one can watch the kids while the other two knock out a few chores. Then return the favor next time and head to their house to either help with the chores or keep the kids occupied.
This type of setup will mean that you are there to step in with your kids if necessary, but the novelty of playmates will help you and the other parent(s) have time to rake the leaves up in the backyard, clean out the refrigerator, or deal with the burned food mess in the oven.
When in Need, Hire Professional Help
If you can swing it, invest in some cleaning help. It’s not an admission of defeat that you can’t do it all. NO ONE can do it all!
Hiring a cleaning service to come even once a month can be a real lifesaver. You let them in so they can do their thing while you run errands or take the kids to the pool or park. When you come home, your whole house is clean, and you had quality time with your children, making memories that will last.
They won’t notice that the toothpaste smeared all over the counter is gone, but you will.
Me time = free time
You can’t be a good parent if you are stressed out and exhausted all the time. Forget the notion that you don’t need me time. You do!
Work it out with your spouse or partner, friends, or relatives so that you have me time/free time on the schedule every week. Maybe Saturday mornings are your time to sleep in, go for a run, and have coffee with a friend with the agreement that you are back home for family time at a certain hour. When you have a lot going on, it’s helpful to know that while you are busy now, some downtime is coming. Take it.
Leave it to the pros
If you have a room, corner of the yard, or a garage full of junk that needs to be cleaned up, why not seek a professional to take care of it for you? Sometimes it’s simply impossible to bear the burden of all the work.
No need to waste valuable time running around town trying to donate this, recycle that, and possibly encounter unexpected disposal fees when the pros at LoadUp can whisk it away and save your day for more important things…like a water balloon battle in the backyard or a stuffed animal tea party.
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